So, I called Paps last night:
Jaime: Hey! What’s going on?
Paps: Your mom and I are at Target right now.
We talk for a little bit and a thought strikes me:
Jaime: Hey! So, I sent an email about two weeks ago and you never responded.
Paps: An email?
Jaime: Yes. A piece of writing I’m working on. You know, whenever you send me your work, you usually get a response in 24 hours.
Paps: Huh? What? Sorry, Jemmy. I can’t hear you!
A note to the uninitiated: When I was a kid, Paps had surgery on his inner ear. Apparently, two of the three bones in his ear were fused together. Gross, right? Anyway, he can hear fine now but uses this fact to avoid conversations with his kids.
Jaime: Paps! You can hear me just fine! Quit avoiding the question!
Paps: What? Jem, I can’t hear you. I’m going through a tunnel. Sorry!
Jaime: Tunn….Dude, you’re in Target!
Dan (noticing my conniption fit): Is your dad doing the Wayne’s World phone thing?
Dan: That’s hilarious!
Yeah. Guy’s a regular Mike Myers.