I’m In Love, What’s That Song? Or, I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man by The Eels

Number 19 on my 29 Before 29 Goals is to punch up the blog a little. I figure there’s about four people who visit this site on a regular basis (two of whom are my parents – hey guys!) and with that kind of staggering viewership, I really should go the extra mile.

I have a two-fold plan for this:

A) Make TSFRR more aesthetically appealing. It’s glaringly obvious I haven’t started this yet and if you’ve got any advice for me, it would be much appreciated.

B) Feature content other than my inane ramblings about how I’m essentially rubbish at being a girl (what the hell kind of witchcraft is liquid liner, anyhow?), how Ron Livingston is the most attractive man alive and my theories on why the world would be a much happier place if everyone incorporated more gin and cheese into their lives (it would, dudes. It just would).

I figure Real World/Road Rules Challenge Recapstasy is a good start but I need to stretch my arms out a little farther.

So, I’m adding a new feature cleverly titled: “I’m In Love, What’s That Song?” in which I rave about a song and convince you that you need to made it a permanent addition to your iTunes library.

Song: I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man
Artist: The Eels (Prince Cover)

Prince conjures up images of leggy brunettes swathed in purple lingerie singing about all sorts of dirty things that will make you go blind and grow hair on your palms.

And that makes sense because a majority of his music is about all sorts of dirty things that will make you go blind and grow hair on your palms.

However, Prince is a pretty wily cat and digs the notion of keeping you on your toes as much as he does the notion of keeping you on your back. So just when you think he’s the lover who you can call up anytime you wanna grind — dude tells you how U wouldn’t be satisfied with a one-night stand and that he could never take the place of your man.

Wait…wait…wait. What?

But, but..twenty-three positions and you said I could call any time and…

Baby, don’t waste your time. I know what’s on your mind. I may be qualified for a one night-stand but I could never take the place of your man.

When was the last time you heard that kind of honesty in real life, much less in a pop song from the horniest little leprechaun to frolic across the purple plains of Paisley Park?

Even though Prince’s pop melodies are flawless, I’m a bigger fan of The Eels’ cover of the song.

Prince covers are tricky little beasties and not everyone can fully wrap their lips around them. For example, New Kid on the Block Jordan Knight covered this track a few years back and to say his version was the suckiest suck that ever sucked would be kind (still love you, though J-Money. Keep Hangin’ Tough). The Goo Goo Dolls also covered this track and their version, while admirable, has nothing on The Eels.

I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man is a lacrymal lament of lost love, so the smartest thing you can do is strip it down to its barest bones and just bleed all over the strings. That’s exactly what The Eels do and that’s why it sounds so good.

Five Reasons I’m In Love With That Song:

1. It’s Prince. If you don’t love Prince, we probably shouldn’t be friends. Also, your mother is ashamed she raised a kid with such heinous taste in music.
2. Strip down a six string and the truth shall set you free.
3. The lyric, “Oh, honey baby/That’s a dead end/U know and I know we wouldn’t be satisfied.” Look dudes, I’m a Southern girl at heart and a sucker for terms of endearment. Their power increases exponentially if you place them in a song.
4. It’s honest. Jarringly so at some points and when you consider that Prince has essentially built his career on sexual bombast and braggadocio, it’s kind of nice to hear a change.
5. It’s good. Look, I could harp about lyrical content and melody until I’m blue in the face but at the end of the day – a good song is a good song.

The Eels – I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man

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