Adventures in Culinary Assembly Or, Sangria Blanco

I had this brilliant idea for making sangria in a parking lot.

Hear me out — you grab a couple of airline bottles of vodka and triple sec, one of those 500ml bottles of white wine and head to your local Wawa/7-11.

Grab a couple of those pre-packaged containers of fruit and fill a 32oz cup a quarter of the way with fountain Sprite. Add the fruit, the booze and stir.

Congratulations! You just made a delicious, exotic and summery beverage right there in the parking lot of the Wawa!

Unfortunately, certain people thought this was a terrible idea. They laughed at me and said I was essentially the walking embodiment of boughetto.

Thanks, jerkfaces! See if you get invites to my All White Sangria Wawa Parking Lot Party.

What? That could be a thing.

This sangria was not made in a parking lot. It was made in my kitchen while listening to Prince…which is a pretty great way to make anything. Especially babies.

Let’s get started!

You will need:

– Green grapes
– Raspberries
– Peaches
– Cheap white wine
– 1/4 cup of Triple Sec
– 1/4 cup of sugar
– Vodka
– Club Soda

Usually the lack of real measurements skitzes me out but in this case, it’s all to taste. Don’t like peaches? Use honeydew melon. Don’t like raspberries? Add blackberries to that sucker.

First things first – add 1/4 cup of sugar and 1/4 cup of triple sec to your pitcher. Set aside for about five minutes and then, give it a quick stir.

Chop up your peaches and grapes and use the pterodactyl claw you call your hand to add the fruit to the pitcher. Seriously, why does my hand look like that?

Add some raspberries – for flavor, for color and for their affiliation to Prince.

At this point, you’re starting to realize, “Wow. That is a shitload of fruit, right? Like a lot.”

No big. I mean, we still need to add the wine, right?

Then, you realize that you don’t have enough wine. I KNOW.

But that’s OK. We don’t panic. We improvise with our good friend, Comrade Vodka.

A couple of solid glugs from our favorite Ruski and we are golden. See? Beautiful.

Stick it in the fridge for a couple of hours to let the fruit macerate in the alcohol.

(Totally unrelated but I highly recommend the Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat if you like Belgian wheat ales)

Blog for a bit, watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II for the eleventh time, try to convince your friend to steal a Boston Terrier for you. You know, the usual.

Take your boozy fruit mixture out of the fridge and top off with club soda.

Final Verdict – remember in college when you other people who aren’t you at all used to upend bottles into a bowl at random, add a little Hawaiian Fruit Punch and hell, some Tylenol PM for fun and call it Passionflower Power Punch and get everyone schwacked on it?

This is like that…but better. It’s potent, sweet and refreshing. The kind of drink that’ll have you fishing for fruit chunks in your glass in the most undignified manner.

But if you’re sitting in the sun with the people you love listening to good music and screaming with laughter – that whole dignity thing is overrated anyway.

I hope you make it and if you do, please let me know what you think.

Now, if you’ll excuse me – I have some fruit chunks to fish out of a glass.

3 thoughts on “Adventures in Culinary Assembly Or, Sangria Blanco

  1. Pingback: Adventures in Culinary Assembly Or, Gazpacho/30 Before 30: #2 – Make Gazpacho From Scratch | Too Sweet For Rock & Roll

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