Holy Shit! I Love You: The True Romance Edition

I’ve never been big on the romantic comedies.

They have their place in the pantheon and there is nothing wrong with watching The Notebook while folding laundry on a Sunday afternoon (he builds her a house! What more do you want, Rachel McAdams?! Baby Goose builds you a house!) but if I’m looking for a love story? Like a real love story? I’m going to with True Romance every time.

Directed by the late Tony Scott and written by Quentin Tarantino, True Romance is a 100% glurge-free love story. Violent and whip-smart, sexy and brutal, really well-written with a killer soundtrack and just so cool, so cool, so cool.

If you haven’t seen True Romance yet, this is what you’re going to do:

You are gonna grab someone you love. It doesn’t have to be your significant other. Grab your best friend, your sister, your dog or even your mom if she’s kind of a bad-ass and doesn’t mind a movie filled with profanity (225 instances of the word ‘fuck’ and its derivatives) and 21 deaths.

You’re gonna grab popcorn, pizza (the good stuff from the mom-and-pop joint) and beer (or a very large, very cold gin and tonic), turn down the lights, turn up the sound and watch the shit out of this movie.

You’re gonna marvel at how cool Christian Slater was and how you kinda sorta always wanted a boyfriend like Clarence Worley who would fanboy the fuck out about comic books and rock those bad-ass Elvis sunglasses and climb on a stack of phonebooks to kiss you.

You’re going to quote and re-quote the lines (“”I didn’t know it was white boy day” “Don’t condescend me, man…”), you’re going to fall in love with the prettiest soundtrack Hans Zimmer ever wrote and you’re going to gasp at just how many now-famous actors you recognize from this film.

And when the smoke clears and the end credits roll, you’re going to realize that no romantic comedy will ever be enough after this.

No matter what you watch, no-one will be as in love or as cool as Clarence and Alabama.

As always, Pajiba says it better than I ever could. Check out their review here.

Rest in Peace, Tony Scott. Thank you for True Romance and Beverly Hills Cop II. Both have factored into my life in a big way and I could not be more appreciative.





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