You’ve Got To Try This: Jonathan Adler Manifesto

Keeping with the whole interior design thing, check out Jonathan Adler’s Manifesto.
I agree with pretty much all of it.

xxx

We believe that your home should make you happy.

We believe that when it comes to decorating, the wife is always right. Unless the husband is gay.

We believe in carbohydrates and to hell with the puffy consequences.

We believe minimalism is a bummer.

We believe handcrafted tchotchkes are life-enhancing.

We believe tassels are the earrings of the home.

We believe in our muses: David Hicks, Alexander Girard, Bonnie Cashin. Hans Coper, Gio Ponti, Andy Warhol, Leroy Neiman, Yves Saint Laurent, and Madonna.

We believe in the innate chicness of red with brown.

We believe in being underdressed or overdressed always.

We believe in infantile, happy emblems like butterflies and hearts.

We believe celebrities should pay full price.

We believe in rustic modernism: Big Sur, A-Frame beach houses, raw beams, and geodesic dome homes.

We believe in Palm Beach style: Louis chairs, chinoiserie, Lilly Pulitzer, The Breakers circa ’72.

We believe our designs are award winning even though they’ve never actually won any.

We believe in Aid to Artisans.

We believe dogs should be allowed in stores and restaurants.

We believe in mantiques – suits of armour, worn chesterfield sofas, heraldic tapestries.

We believe you should throw out your Blackberry and go pick some actual blackberries.

We believe colors can’t clash.

We believe in blowing your nest egg on our pots.

We believe our lamps will make you look younger and thinner.

We believe in irreverent luxury.

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You know, it took me *two hours* to decorate this place. I went to that Swedish place and Beyond the Bathroom.

True Confession: I suck at interior design. I can’t envision where furniture will go in an empty room, I don’t pick pieces and matching textiles and any plant unlucky enough to be in my custody has died a painful death.

My interior design ethos essentially boils down to:

A) Get stuff you need.
B) Plunk stuff down.
C) Start living.

That worked in my teenage bedroom — a space with tennis-ball yellow walls and pictures plastered over pretty much every flat surface — and it worked in college where nothing is supposed to match but now?

I’m an adult (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) and want my home to reflect that fact.

In a perfect world, HGTV would show up on my doorstep and say, “Wow, you really are crap at this. How about you go out for Mexican food and margaritas and we’ll take care of this?”

But the world in which I live? Far from perfect (if it were, drinking coffee would give you amazing abs, I’d earn serious ducats as a showrunner and have hair that never needed flat-ironing. Ever.), so this responsibility falls upon me.

And I’m lost.

I have an idea in mind — Warm with Spanish influences. Chocolate and chili. Chocolate and teal. Wood. Amber (the color, not the element). Black and white pictures.

I want people to walk in, immediately feel at home and think to themselves, “Mmmm, someone’s seen Vicky Cristina Barcelona more than once.”

But I don’t know how to implement this on a budget or make this jive with our very vast collection of books, flat screen TV and awesome film noir-style poster of Veronica Mars which I refuse to give up (interior design does not mean throwing a bunch of generic cityscapes on your wall).

One of my biggest issues is the couch.

We have a long living room, so easy fix — we get a long couch, right? A big-ass sectional or something.

Wrong.

Because this is what happens when we get the big-ass sectional.

I fall in love with my couch. I nap, I watch movies, I read, I craft and I spend entirely too much ensconced in the glory that is the couch.

Then Augs and I decide to move.

We move to a place where the living room isn’t as long as our present living room.

The couch doesn’t entirely fit.

My home looks stupid.

I am vastly irritated.

All I know is that I want something deep and soft — the kind of couch on which a girl could very happily take a serious nap.

So, besides kidnap Jonathan Adler and hold him captive until he decorates my home, does anyone have any suggestions?