Running Commentary – Wednesday, July 14

Welcome to Running Commentary – another feature from my old blog that I liked and decided to resurrect.

Eventually, I’m sure this will expand to include running commentary on pop culture (I.E. — me totally ripping off Sports Guy’s running diaries), but right now — it’s more an outlet for me to gripe.

Here’s the lowdown — I’m undercaffeinated, my hair’s a bird nest due to some seriously soupy humidity and I’m six seconds away from breaking down and getting a Diet Coke.

7:13: I forgot to charge Little Big Bird last night, my phone’s about to die and now, the road’s closed so I need to double back. Perfect start to a perfect morning. I swear, this is how horror movies start out. Really, really boring horror movies.

7:24: Passing Starbucks #2 right now because I figure stopping will make me later than I already am.

7:41: And I’m at work a little earlier than normal. Sans iced coffee. Terrific.

8:16: Free Wawa coffee makes things better. Although the next time I buy creamer and leave it in the communal fridge, I’m attaching a note that reads, “I’m not above spitting in this to prevent you from using it.”

8:23: When did Haley Joel Osment turn into a hybrid of Robert Pattinson and James Van Der Beek? Does this mean he bridges the gap from my generation to the new one? Am I creepy for thinking he’s kind of cute?

9:09: Reading political blogs cannot be good for my heart. I feel like I’m going to Hulk out.

9:51: Oh, Happy Bastille Day, guys!

10:37: Can’t…Stop….Yawning….

11:02: Seriously, this is ridiculous. Two people already commented on it. Did someone replace the regular coffee with unleaded? Is the building pumping in some sort of sedative? Is this because I stay up and watch Friends on DVD instead of sleeping? Nah, that can’t be it.

11:46: Finally got a panic button installed but since it won’t be hooked up until this Friday, the technician offered me the following advice — “Try not to talk back to anyone until then.” Obviously, he doesn’t know me very well…

12:34: Things I Am Currently Failing To Make Magically Appear At My Desk: A hot buttered bagel and bananas foster iced coffee from Brooklyn Water Bagels. Kettle corn. An iPod docking station. Ron Livingston (Although I’m sure that if he showed up, I’d be fired pretty much instantly…as well as accused of sorcery of some sort).

1:12: Funny — it doesn’t look like a meat locker, but it sure feels like one.

1:18: Internet Explorer is a piece of shit.

1:49: San Francisco Gate devoted an entire article to my summer love — cold brewed iced coffee. I’ve never tried Vietnamese Iced Coffee, but get the feeling it’s heart-stoppingly glorious.

2:03: Reese’s Pieces make a crappy, crappy lunch. I say this all the time, but I really do need to start eating better. Anyone have any recommendations on delicious, easy and healthy meals a girl can whip up after work instead of ordering pizza? Oh and sidebar – the pizza situation in Southeastern PA has sucked lately. Now, I’m the kind of girl who believes that even bad pizza is good pizza but my local mainstays have been failing in pretty epic ways. It’s either too floppy, topped with bullshit ingredients (No! Broccoli does not belong on a pizza!) or, worst of all, is topped with fake cheese. If water or chemicals are the first ingredient, you should be forbidden from going anywhere near pizza, much less making it. Good pizza is simple and needs only the following components — a crunchy crust, real cheese that stretches when you take that first bite (bonus points if it’s a little burned. I kinda dig that), tomato sauce that hasn’t been tempered with six pounds of sugar and aromatics — preferably the troika of onion, garlic and basil.

2:33: I feel lousy. I hope I’m not coming down with something.

3:14: McGillis and I just had a bonding moment over Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff by Christopher Moore. If you haven’t read it, pick it up. Uproariously funny with some really thoughtful ruminations on theology and philosophy.

3:56: I just realized I didn’t break down and get a Diet Coke. That’s worthy of some high-fiveage.

4:10: Do I take the normal way home, risk the road being closed and then have to double back or should I take the tried-and-tested way home? I’m always down for an adventure, so let’s made the poor choice.

4:27: Road closure! Stupid downed trees. Wait a second, that guy just went around the sign. And so did that guy. And that guy. Traffic laws be damned, I need to get to the store. We’ve got a college fridge at home — beer and condiments.

4:51: Who the hell doesn’t sell smoked mozzarella cheese? I mean, seriously. How’s a girl supposed to make a smoked caprese if there’s no….Oooh! Smoked gouda!

5:07: Just got off the phone with Paps where we had a great conversation about the honor killing of Noor Almaleki. A bit of a heavy subject to be discussing in the produce aisle, but an important one. Although I was raised in one of England’s more ethnic neighborhoods, my parents raised us in a pretty liberal and Westernized atmosphere. He tells me about a particularly gruesome honor killing that happened in the neighborhood when I was a kid. I start getting vocal and quickly realize that yelling about the hypocrisy of piety while picking out tomatoes probably isn’t the wisest idea.

5:21: Home! No Pants! T-Shirt From 1998! Pookie!

5:41: Am I supposed to cut the rind off the gouda before I eat it? Oh well..

5:58: Mmmmm…Cheesy Peas and Batman: Mask of the Phantasm on streaming Netflix. I swear, I morph into an eight-year-old the second I come bounding through my door.

7:31: Call Biffle and have a pretty great conversation about the law and atheism. Goddamn, I miss this guy. You hear that, Biffle? I miss you. Also – SANDWICHES.

8:03: Call Paps and ask about the cheese:

Jaime: Hey, was I supposed to remove the rind before I ate the cheese?
: Remove the….You stupid idiot. Here, talk to your mom.
: Ummm, OK. Hey Mom, was I supposed to remove the rind before I ate the cheese?
: You stupid idiot! (Sidebar: My parents have been married for thirty years. Can you tell?)
: As opposed to a smart idiot?
: How much did you eat?
: Not much.
: You know it’s wax, right?
: Aw, crap.

So, my life essentially consists of a series of great conversations, being thoroughly entertained and eating well (despite the fact that I ate cheese wax).

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating — I am a lucky bastard.