For the most part, I’m a pretty upbeat person and relatively lo-fi. I take things in stride and try not to stress too much.
Flight’s late? No biggie — I’ll get to my destination eventually.
Traffic jam? I’ll just give me more time to listen to music.
Shoe breaks while I’m out and about (this has actually happened several times)? Make like Mariah and shake it off.
But every now and then, something remarkably stupid will happen and just send me reeling. Like this, for example:
A batch of cookies has me sitting on the couch, pouting and listening to Coldplay.
I couldn’t make a batch of effing cookies. Isn’t that like, Girl 101? Do I have to turn in my ovaries at the next meeting?
After all, I also can’t sew a button, give a room that feminine touch (a vast collection of books and scented candles don’t count, right?), apply any make-up that isn’t mascara and lip balm, walk in heels over 3″ tall or go an entire day without using at least one expletive.
Part of me is saying that the aforementioned is just the perpetuation of archaic gender roles and has no real bearing on my femininity, but there’s a bigger part of me who’s a complete asshole (see, told you I couldn’t go without using an expletive) and is basically taunting me by saying, “You couldn’t even make cookies?! What kind of girl are you, anyway?”
My frustration is an ouroboros — I’m annoyed because I couldn’t do something as rudimentary as make cookies and I’m also annoyed because I’m annoyed at something so asinine. I mean, they’re cookies for Chrissakes.
Yes, I am utterly deranged and fully aware of this fact. I’m not the only one, though. Admit it – you get pissed off about stupid stuff too.
Alright. Enough moping. This is no way to spend a Friday night.
So, I suck at making cookies. You know what I don’t suck at:
1. Making pizza and huevos rancheros from scratch. Fuck cookies – I can make real meals.
2. Making mix CDs. I put entirely too much thought into them and they kick ass.
3. Any game involving pop culture trivia.
4. Writing. Despite what this blog may lead you to believe, I’m actually pretty decent when it comes to slingin’ ink.
5. Coaxing a smile out of people. I made my grandma laugh when my grandpa was in the hospital. Easing tension, even if it’s for the briefest of moments, is something I can do well and it might be dumb, but we all need a little break every now and then.